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| Oh my poor neglect xanga... i think my last 5 entry all had some sorta of apology to my xanga
So today i went to Costco and i figured something out... cell phones has turn every store that i go to into an busy Asian Supermarket on a Sunday afternoon... okay what do i mean... ever remember when you were a kid and you wanted to go with your parents to the supermarket so you can get your favorite candy (for me it was the rabbit candy) but damn it was always part and people put their carts everywhere while they shopped and you had to bump and ram your way through.
People nowadays do not just shop, they talk on the phone, search the internet, check their calendar or email or text while shopping and freaken ay find a a corner and stop blocking the aisles for the people who actually pay attention when they go shopping.
We had a new must be connected generation get distracted too easily and must feel connected to everything (i am guilty as charged) but i make it a duty to get the hell out of peoples way and apologize if i happen to get in their way. We have an attention span of a goldfish... about 30 secs... as you read thing you are probably thinking a youtube video you going to watch soon or you just a text message that said if you dont send it to 10 more people your hair will fall out.
Look i am not asking you to give your up your cell or stop watching youtube because i wont... (sorry President Obama about having to give up your Blackberry) but damn jus move your damn cart because next time i wont be so nice and going to just ram you and if your phone falls oh well because sorry i wasnt pay attention i was texting back one of those stupid chain letters before my nuts fell off... karma is a bitch...
Other than that, have a good day
-John
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Ever notice that things are most clear when you are a child, you knew
you wanted to be: a lawyer, doctor or NBA superstar. You wanted to
take over the world and whatever happens you were going to be happy with your 1.5
child family and whitewashed picket fence and nothing was ever going to bother
you. As a child the little details didn't matter, knowing how you were
going to achieve your fantasy never enter your mind; what you had was a path
and all you had to do was follow it. Your bedtime was dictated to
you, after second grade you knew that third grade was next and all that matter
in that moment was "does Sally really like me." Naivety was a
blessing and something that if I was to relive my childhood would have loved to
hold onto.
But now I understand
that my college years are coming to a close, the path is not clear and I doubt
that I will have 1.5 kids (if possible) and a picket fence is just not practical
in an urban setting and as for Sally, she going to have to take a back seat to
the loan repayments, job search and rent.
I understand that most people can succeed and usually find a way to
squeeze out an existing in the world but I doubt right now it is the same
existence that we dreamed as a kid. I
understand that the future is uncertain and that my path is paved with my own
two hands but is not wrong for me to wish for a GPS to guide me along.
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| Once again i neglect my xanga... but even though i leave it for months at a time, in the back of my mind i know if i have a problem or feel like venting it will still be here
So here is whats up:
I am feeling alone...
Before all the pity comes crashing down on me and the massive floods of fan mail (JK) this is what i mean; in the last couple of weeks i have seen some of the most influential or interesting characters of my life leave or at least decide to move on from their life in Davis. I wish them the best in their endeavors but damn you people couldnt have waited i graduated instead of leaving me here in davis in my last couple of months in davis to figure out what i want to do with my life post-grad. Perhaps it is out of envy because you guys have found something to attach yourself to, and i am still in the blank about what i am going to do with my life. I know all the older people are going to say that i will find something but that doesnt make the process of waiting for it any easier. I wish i had a plan, all i know is that i am going to take a year off and then try to go to grad school and perhaps become a Professor. But as of right now that is still a dream and abstract; who knows what bumps might lay ahead that might take me to another path. Do i want to go back home to LA or do i want to try a new life in the bay... damn even those choices have major implications... what to do... I guess its going to take time to figure it out... until then Dinh, Mo, Eric and even Nikki i wish you all the best.
-Peace, John
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| Found this article and though you guys might like to read it...
Top 'shoulds' and 'oughts': Road blocks to loveLet's look at some common shoulds and oughts more closely, so that we can see the errors in thinking: 1. "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7
or I must not be in love." Odd as it may sound, some people never feel
the intoxicating sensations we think of as "being in love." The ability
to fall in love is on a continuum:
 Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do. 
Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people
never do. Most of us are somewhere in between. Those people who never
"fall in love" are still quite capable of loving and forming
relationships. If you find yourself waiting for the "in love" sensation
which never comes, the "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7
or I must not be in love" could keep you permanently single. 2. "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me."
Really? How? Of course there are better or worse choices, but assuming
that your date meets your criteria of "good person" and the two of you
enjoy each other, seem compatible, and don't irritate the heck out of
each other, what more do you need? This "should" may be connected to
your "falling in love" ability: If you are able to "fall in love," that
biochemical process (it's like being drunk or high) helps surge you
forward into a permanent relationship and over any questions or doubts. 3. "We should share the same ... (fill in the blank)."
Why? One of the wonderful parts about finding a life partner is all the
things that he or she knows and you don't, or is and you are not. Think
of what you can learn from the differences. Or what you won't have to
learn because your partner already knows.
Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you?
Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone
just like you? You may be pretty terrific, but how boring would it be
to be married to your carbon copy! So
pay attention to your inner thoughts about love and your dates. If
"should" or "ought" crop up in your thinking, take note and challenge
yourself. You may have set up a condition that is road-blocking your
search for love. | | |
| Have you ever written a blog and felt it expressed perfectly how you felt, and then you go back and read it, you realized how many grammar errors you make and wonder how the hell people understood you. Well that is how i feel about my last blog.
So this once again i didnt go home for Thanksgiving, just doesnt seem worth the drive or the pain of flying, so i spent it in Davis. I have come to realized that if i dont make plans for Thanksgiving and decide to stay in Davis to work on school that shit happens. Last time i did that I got my car broken in and my radio got jacked and this year i made sure my car wasnt broken into. However, my comp got a virus and i tried reformatting it and accidentally partition both my comp and my external harddrive (meaning i lost data) and my external had all my drivers and files that i was going to put back in my comp. So i am going to try to recovery that and if i dont i am going to die. Well not literally but damn i almost punched a hole in the wall when i realized what i had done. So Thanksgiving really suck. For all those wondering why i decided to isolated myself this weekend, i did so to work on two 10 pages papers due on Thursday and i felt no one in town, so i could get more work done, well asides from my computer meltdown and lucky i had my old laptop in my closest which had its own set of problems, i had no microsoft word, USB port and Audio is fried, so basically used this laptop to surf the web. And decided to use this weekend to jus reflect and hide behind books.
Here is what i realized:
a)life could be worst
b)decision are regretable but you need to learn to move on
c)never partition without first looking at what you are going to partition
d)no alcohol makes life a bit clearer
e)not having a gym to vent at sucks
f)your sleeping patterns get fucked up when you dont have things planned out
g)fall quarter always sucks
h)dont be a jackass... too late for that for me
i)most important value what you have
Lates,
John Tu
P.S. Elyson do not disappoint me homie
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